Scenes From Munich’s Viktualienmarkt and an Avocado Brawl Remembered

Cheeses From Britain

Turkish Candy

A Horse Butcher. Never could summon the courage to go in there.

Bavarian Tea

A few times a year, my friend Erin and I would throw a Mexican fiesta for our friends. We both moved to Munich from years of living in Los Angeles and desperately missed California style Mexican food. So we would make our own nachos, guacamole, salsa, and fajitas, blend up a bottomless pitcher of frozen margaritas, invite about 30 friends and party down. One time we even managed to find a piñata.

Jackfruit

Dragon Fruit

Wurst Stand

One time, a day or so before one of these parties, I was zipping by the Viktualienmarkt on my way to an appointment and spied some Hass avocados on display. I stopped immediately and asked the vendor if they were ripe. She said yes. I was psyched and asked for 8. She handed them over to me and the avocados were so hard I would have been charged with manslaughter if I hit someone with the bag. I immediately tried to pass them back to her and asked for ripe ones as there was no way the ones she was trying to sell me would be ripe in time for the party, let alone in the next year. She looked at me like I was crazy and insisted they were ripe. I insisted on returning them and asked again in German, changing the word from “ripe” to “soft” and tried to explain why I needed them soft, what I was making with them, blah blah.  Again, more crazy looks, she insisting these were ripe and we went back and forth several times with “ja” “nein”  “ja” “nein”, totally like kindergarten.

Wild Game Shop

Smoked Austrian Specialties

She finally lost her patience with me at started yelling, saying these were perfect avocados I could eat immediately. In my experience, Germans don’t get the concept of a ripe avocado. On the rare occasion you get served a slice of avocado in a restaurant, it is usually as hard as a rock. They throw out the soft, ripe ones. Go Figure.

Then she crossed the guacamole line, treated me like a stupid foreigner and told me I had no concept of fresh food or what a ripe avocado was. OK, that was it. I dramatically plunked the bag of avocados right on top of the rest of the pile at the stand and let loose. In my bad German and gesturing wildly, I told her I was from California, I had avocado trees in my garden, ate them practically daily, certainly knew exactly what a ripe one was and so on and so on. And because she was so condescending, she could stick her avocados where the sun could never ripen them.

Very Phallic Looking White Asparagus

White Asparagus Wine

Did I mention a crowd had gathered at this point? Well probably not over the fight, they more likely were just trying to buy some produce from her. At least I provided some entertainment while they were waiting.

I stalked off. I’m such a drama queen sometimes.

Spices, Herbs, and Nuts

Spanish butcher

I have traveled to over 50 countries and have never had a bad experience with a vendor except for this one. I am from the anti-ugly American school of travel. I don’t do tour groups or big hotels, respect the locals and their traditions, dress appropriately and always learn a few important words in the local language before I go. Good morning, please, thank you and where is the bathroom? are always good places to start. I probably should have just told her it was a misunderstanding, apologized and walked away.

Why did I feel the need to be right? Because she was so arrogant. It set me off. OK, I was arrogant too. But her first. So there. The truth is, for Germany those were perfectly good avocados for immediate consumption. For guac eaters, not even close. It was a cultural culinary clash. I am not proud of the fact I lost it on her, vowed to do better next time but the story still makes us all laugh.

The bottom line? Don’t stand between me and my guac.

So Many Potato Varieties, So Little Time

Back to the market.

Dried Kiwis

Dried Pears

Decorative Easter Eggshells

In the center of the market is a beer garden:

German Businessman’s Lunch

The market also sells tons of nonedible handmade items:

 

 

A gourmet paradise in the heart of the city, the market is a fantastic place to explore repeatedly. Every time I go there I find something new to buy or try. Here are some of the items I picked up on a recent visit to Munich:

Cheddar Cheese with Mango and Ginger

Dandelion Syrup

Truffle Bruschetta Mix

Just Add Water and Oil

Crosses Made Out of Pussy Willow. I Bought One as an Easter Present for my Devoutly Catholic MIL

Some Viktualienmarkt Facts

• The name comes from the Latin word victual which means food.
• Established in 1807 by King Maximilian I, the market was originally a herb market.
• In WWII the market was badly damaged and city officials briefly thought about removing it all together.
• It has about 140 stalls and booths and covers 22,000 square meters or about 5.5 acres.
•  The Market has its own website.

If you are visiting Munich, the market is hard to miss but don’t miss it and if you happen to see an American fighting with a vendor over avocados, just roll your eyes and walk on by.